How to Overcome Performance Anxiety in Bed

Do you struggle with performance anxiety in the bedroom? You’re not alone. People of all genders sometimes get anxious before the big event. 

If you don’t know how to overcome performance anxiety in bed, it can get in the way of your healthy sex life. What are you supposed to do? 

We want to help. Keep reading to learn several methods for how to fix performance anxiety in bed.

Consider Enhancement

If you’re truly anxious about your performance in bed, you might want to consider enhancement options. There are permanent and non-permanent options to choose from, and some are more reliable (and safe) than others. 

Remember that going this route is often unnecessary so it shouldn’t be your first option, but many people want to know about enhancement before they consider other options.

Here are a few options that you have and some facts about each. 

Surgical

If you’re someone with a penis, you do have surgical options to help your performance. When we discuss surgery, there are two primary types. There’s one for enhancing your size and one for correcting erectile dysfunction. 

For enhancing your size, you could consider a Penuma implant. It’s a silicone implant available in a variety of sizes. It goes under your skin to enhance your length and girth. 

For most people, this is unnecessary. The average penis size is just over 5 inches, and it’s likely that you already have that. Most people have no interest in more. 

This is a cosmetic enhancement rather than a functionality enhancement, so it’s ideal if you worry about being a grower rather than a shower.

If you’re anxious about erectile dysfunction, you can choose a rigidity implant. That said, surgical options come with risks that many people aren’t willing to take. 

Non-Surgical

Non-surgical options are far more popular due to their enhanced safety and availability. 

First, the most popular sexual enhancement product is Viagra. It helps with erectile dysfunction and rigidity before bed. Viagra does come with certain risks, so make sure to talk to your doctor about it before trying it for yourself.

There are a variety of online or over-the-counter products for sexual enhancement. Some (especially those for people with penises) are more dangerous than others. Do your research before buying such a product to make sure that you’re consuming something that’s safe for you. 

When it comes to people with vulvas, there are also options. You can get warming supplements and wipes as well as pills that should enhance your libido.

There are also libido enhancement products for people with penises. Again, make sure that they’re safe for consumption. 

Relax Before Bed

This is easier said than done, but do your best to relax before you try to get down and dirty. 

There are various relaxation techniques that you can try. First, try meditation before bed. Meditation is a great way to center your mind and get rid of any lurking anxiety. You can also let go of your stressful thoughts about your day. 

You can try deep breathing exercises before bed. If you’re anxious about your partner seeing you do this, find a quiet and private place. No one should judge you for trying to control your breathing to feel better. 

It’s helpful to try to set the mood before you hit the bedroom. This will help you and your partner relax and it makes for a more romantic experience. Light some scented candles, put your comfiest sheets on the bed, and maybe have a romantic dinner before you get started. 

Most of the enjoyment of sex is mental rather than physical, so if you put you and your partner in a good headspace before bed, you’ll have a better experience. 

Talk to Your Partner

Communication is key whenever it comes to having fun in bed. If you’re feeling anxious, try to work up the courage to talk to your partner about it. 

There are several benefits of this. First, if you have performance anxiety, it’s possible that your partner will take it personally. They may be under the impression that you’re not attracted to them or that they’re doing something wrong. 

You also get to learn about what they like and talk about whether or not you’re actually a good partner in bed. Most of the time, partners will reassure you that your anxiety is unfounded. 

Remember that you and your partner are a team. They want you to feel better just as much as you want to feel better.

Consider Medication

If you’re unable to get over your performance anxiety, consider taking medication. We aren’t talking about supplements or Viagra anymore. Instead, consider anxiety medication.

To get anxiety medication you’re going to have to talk to a doctor or psychiatrist. It’s best to see a psychiatrist to go over the details of your situation. 

You may have to try several types of anxiety medication before you find the right one for you. Some medications, like SSRIs (which are often for depression but can also help with anxiety) aren’t ideal because they can cause sexual dysfunction for people of any gender. 

Other medications have no effect on sexual performance. 

Remember that your anxiety is legitimate. That means that medication is a viable option for you, even if you feel silly.

Consider Therapy

If you’re not ready for medication, therapy is another great choice. You could use a general therapist to get to the bottom of your performance anxiety, but you could also choose a therapist that specializes in sexual struggles. 

A good therapist will help you work out your specific problems and what causes them. They can talk you through rational thinking and coping mechanisms that may help with your sexual performance anxiety. 

Your therapist won’t judge you. They’re there to help and they’ve seen this problem plenty of times before. Don’t let your fear get in the way of your progress. 

Have More Fun

This might sound impossible, but trust us. Having more fun in bed is a great way to overcome your performance anxiety (and enhance your sex life in general). 

This goes alongside communicating with your partner. Talk about the things that each of you wants in bed and try implementing them. If you do this, you know that you’re doing something that will excite and satisfy your partner even if you feel like you aren’t up to the task. 

Having fun will also help you relax. Don’t be afraid to get silly or even laugh. Laughter is great for getting rid of nervousness and it doesn’t mean that your partner is laughing at you. 

Compare Notes

There are several ways that you can compare notes when it comes to the bedroom.

First, don’t be afraid to look at online forums about sex and performance anxiety. You’ll be able to see other people with similar feelings and experiences and learn from their mistakes and successes. 

You can talk to your friends about sex if your dynamic is suited to that. Make sure that you don’t cross any boundaries with your partner or friend group when you’re discussing your sex life. You may discover that your anxiety is unnecessary because other people are having the same experience that you are. 

You can talk to your partner after the fact and ask how the experience was. This might feel a bit like a job interview, but it makes a huge difference when it comes to sexual satisfaction. Try to create an open and honest environment and control your emotions in the event that your partner has any suggestions or criticisms. 

Learn New Things

Not everything in the bedroom is about penetrative sex. If you feel like you’re not good enough in that department, learn about other ways to please and satisfy your partner that have nothing to do with penetration. It’s all part of the experience. 

Remember that foreplay is everything. If you’re good at foreplay, the actual “sex” part of sex doesn’t matter as much. As a matter of fact, being good at foreplay may make you an even better partner. 

Do your research and learn all about things that can make the bedroom more exciting for your partner and yourself. 

That’s How to Overcome Performance Anxiety in Bed

Learning how to overcome performance anxiety in bed isn’t easy. It’s a process, and there are going to be bumps in the road along the way. With these tips and methods, you’re sure to find something that helps ease your mind. 

Remember, it’s likely that your anxiety is unfounded. Talk to your partner about your performance anxiety in bed and work on it together.

For more helpful articles about relationships and more, visit the rest of our site. 

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